3 ways to let go of control

When things don’t go the way you want, it can be sooooo frustrating. 

Especially when you’ve put in effort, used your energy, and then it seems people just don’t notice and they just do things differently. Where’s the appreciation?!? 

Or it seems that the Universe is not aligning and your efforts come up empty.

The thing is, we can’t control everything. People won’t always do things the way you like. Trying to control everything becomes such a draining exercise, and if you focus on it, that creates an angry gremlin who is never pleased. It reduces creativity, the ability to adapt and be flexible. It causes negative self-talk. And it’s really no fun. 

Lemme tell you that I used to CRY immediately, no ability to control it, just cause I thought my lack of control reflected poorly on me?? That I did something wrong... that I wasn't good enough.

Lemme also tell you the good news! We can learn to let go of control. To stop trying to hold onto things so hard. These 3 ways to let go of control make life so much more enjoyable and peaceful.

Here are 3 ways you can let go of control: 

1. Take a literal step back (embodiment - interrupt the cycle, get into your body)

2. Refocus your energy (on feeling good) (intention - you decide where to put your energy)

3. Meditate on your reasons for controlling (shifting your view, understanding yourself more)

Tell me more!

1. Take a literal step back (embodiment)

As you experience a situation, notice, take a deep breath, and take a physical step back.

This physically interrupts your brain from the attachment to the situation.

Catching yourself can be hard. To practice, try this exercise when you’re alone.

Bring to mind a situation where you really wanted to control something and you couldn’t let go. Imagine yourself in that moment. How did you feel? 

When you’re immersed in that memory, practice stepping back. Take a deep breath in, and take a physical step back. 

Practice as often as you can. 

2. Refocus your energy (on feeling good) (intention)

Recognize that addressing your needs will help you feel good. Think about what would help you feel better in that moment, and do that thing. (without disrespecting or hurting others, or yourself)

Fun fact! When you're feeling stressed, looking at something you find is pretty reduces stress!

Bonus points if you can use your other senses to experience it, too. Smell, touch, sound...taste even? I'd eat a flower haha

That's an easy way to interrupt your mood and then you can move forward with intention. Ask yourself what's next. What would feel nourishing, loving, and help you move on?

3. Meditate on your reasons for controlling (shifting)

When you're not agitated, spend time in reflection, connecting to your body and ask yourself what might be going on. Why is this thing so important to me? Is there a different way I could look at this? What might the other people in this situation be thinking?

Get to know yourself and why you feel the need to control certain things. The better you know yourself, the better you can love all parts of yourself. And the easier it becomes to let

things gooooo. The easier it is to shift your views, make sure your values are in line with what you actually believe, and that you ACT based on those values, and not from a place of fear.

For example, for a long time I tried to control things in my sometimes chaotic environment (with children, ya know...), because I was trying to feel SAFE. I didn't feel safe in my body, so I tried to create the perfect environment where everything went well and I felt safe and in control. It never worked. Too many variables! And the ONLY way to feel safe, is to learn to feel safe from the inside out. To feel safe internally first, in your body, mind, and spirit.

I also had a limiting belief that I wasn't good enough. So again, I tried to make things perfect in an attempt to prove that I was good enough...to get validation from anyone I could, so that I could feel even just a little bit of worth and...love.

It didn't work.

The ONLY way to feel good enough, is to know on the deepest level that you are. That you are AUTOMATICALLY good enough, worthy, deserving, and loved, just for being you.

So be curious about yourself! Be open to learning, to growing, without judgement.

Next time you're feeling angry or disappointed that something isn't going the way you want, take a moment to prioritize yourself with these 3 techniques.

Which one will be easiest for you to try?

Much love,

Andreana♥